


Am I Gay? A Journey of Self Discovery with Kazuya Minegishi

by Aqualisier



Series: Cause and Effect [2]
Category: Shin Megami Tensei: Devil Survivor
Genre: Crack, M/M, One-Sided Attraction
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-24
Updated: 2018-08-24
Packaged: 2019-07-01 21:28:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,521
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15782457
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aqualisier/pseuds/Aqualisier
Summary: In which a pubescent Kazuya Minegishi realizes his cousin is kind of hot and is left with a single, burning question:Am I gay?Crack. (No underage sexual content, it's just a thirteen year old with confusing feelings)





	Am I Gay? A Journey of Self Discovery with Kazuya Minegishi

**Author's Note:**

> I haven't really decided on an identity for this series besides "random shit I write about kazuya and naoya" so expect equal parts crack and equal parts angst, or something.

It started so innocently, as all tragedies do.

"Kazuya," his mother called, "could you go fetch Naoya? It's his turn to do laundry this week."

Thirteen year old Kazuya Minegishi put down his video game. "'Kay."

In all likelihood, Naoya was probably in his room, doing some programming job or another. It was the middle of summer, and both of them were currently on break--Kazuya from middle school, Naoya from university. It was almost sad how little of a life Naoya seemed to have off of the internet--even he'd actually brought a girl home before. Granted, the girl in question was Yuzu, but still. There was absolutely no way his cousin was straight.

Kazuya climbed up the stairs, approached Naoya's room, and knocked. "Naoya, Mom says it's your turn to do the laundry."

There was no response. He was probably asleep, in the middle of the afternoon, on a lovely summer day, like the goddamn goblin he was. Kazuya hesitated--sure, they were family, but he was old enough to have reservations about just barging into his room. But, the door was unlocked, so it was Naoya's own fault if Kazuya caught him doing anything that would make Jesus cry, and he let himself in.

What he saw changed him forever.

No, he hadn't caught Naoya jerking off or anything--which was almost unfortunate, because he would soon be in desperate need of ammo to fling at him to maintain some shred of dignity. As he predicted, his cousin had indeed fallen asleep in front of his computer. Kazuya entered the room to wake him, and that's when he noticed several things.

The first, the room was absolutely sweltering. Probably the air conditioner broke and he'd not gotten around to doing anything about it.

The second, Naoya had pulled his hair back into a messy bun and had fallen asleep with his glasses on, face flushed from the heat. He wasn't wearing all that much either, save for a tank top and boxer shorts.

The third, his cousin was _uncomfortably_ attractive.

This realization hit him like a bolt of lightning when he went up to him, prodded him awake, and was met with an annoyed groan. Naoya muttered something unintelligible, and cracked one pretty--wait what--red eye open. "What do you want?" he said groggily.

Kazuya's mind went blank for a moment, then he remembered how to words and said, "Uh... mom told me to get you. It's your turn to do the laundry."

Naoya removed his glasses, rubbed his eyes, and Kazuya watched as he stretched his arms, back, neck, undoubtedly a bit cramped from having fallen asleep in his chair. He wasn't muscular, by any means, but he was better built than he had any right to be as a shut-in nerd. "Nngh, tell her I'll be right down."

Kazuya swallowed. Normally this would be where he would physically drag Naoya out of his room, because he would undoubtedly fall right back to sleep the moment Kazuya left, but the very thought of physical contact with him like this made his face go beet red. At least he had the heat to blame for that.

"Yeah, I'll go do that," he said, and headed towards the door as he tried very hard _not_ to ogle his cousin like a goddamn weirdo. "By the way, you really need to do something about the air conditioner. It's like an oven in here."

Naoya didn't respond, apparently have fallen asleep again as predicted, but Kazuya's mind was an absolute whirlwind and he was absolutely not going back in there. He was a pubescent boy--of course he'd experienced physical attraction before, though never towards men, and most certainly not towards Naoya. Just yesterday he would have laughed out loud at the notion of anyone finding that pasty nerd attractive, and now here he was, crouched outside his door with his face buried in his hands like a blushing schoolgirl, trying very hard to push the image of Naoya's flushed, sweat-slicked body as far out of his mind as possible.

They were cousins, and more than that, basically siblings. This was really, profoundly, uncomfortably weird. Sure, he was hormonal, but that could only explain so much. At the very least, he had really, really shitty taste.

He thought back to the times he'd teased Naoya about his complete lack of interest in the women around him, and one thought floated to the front of his mind.

_Wait, am I gay?_

Not that there was anything wrong with that.

\---

The rest of the day continued without incident. Nobody paid much attention to how Kazuya seemed to be avoiding Naoya, since they both tended to keep to themselves anyway. There was a lot on his mind, and he absolutely did not want to risk any unwanted thoughts surfacing in his cousin's presence.

So maybe he was gay. That wasn't so bad. His parents were fairly liberal people, so even if they responded with some apprehension he doubted he would be thrown out for it, or anything. Naoya wouldn't really care--"gender is inconsequential," he'd once said. Though, he might care a bit if he learned that he was the one who turned Kazuya gay in the first place. Or, made him realize he was gay all along. Whichever.

It had honestly just never occurred to him that he might be gay.

He was... attracted to women, maybe? At the very least he'd thought he was, but maybe he'd just never had anything to compare. He thought models and such were hot, sure, but he'd never had any serious feelings for girls he knew, much less had a girlfriend, and that would explain why he felt so utterly disinterested in Yuzu's attempts to catch his eye. But he hadn't ever seen any men in that light, either, aside from, well...

He thought it over, long and hard, but ultimately lacked sufficient information to draw any solid conclusions. If he wanted to figure this out, he would need to do some research.

It was just after midnight, and the entire household save for probably Naoya was asleep. Kazuya should have been asleep, too. Instead, he was wide awake, lights off, door locked, booting up his personal computer, armed with six boxes of tissues and a brand new bottle of lotion swiped from his unsuspecting mother's bathroom.

He opened Google, and with all the creativity of a sexually curious thirteen year old, typed the words "gay porn," and hit search.

It was, of course, purely for research purposes.

\--

Around five hours later, Kazuya finally felt he had sufficient data to conclude his research. He had learned many things, but his main findings could be summed up in three main points.

The first, he wasn't gay, probably. Comparing men and women side by side, men just didn't do it for him like women did. Which only made the attraction he felt towards Naoya--and he was sure now that's what it was--even weirder.

The second, there was a lot about sex and sexuality that he hadn't known previously. That bisexuality was a thing, for starters, and that there were varying degrees of bisexual that a person could be--which cleared that up, at least, but why _Naoya?_ He also learned that penetration was, in fact, not the end all be all of sex like he'd previously believed. This he'd found fascinating enough that even once he had the answer to his initial question, he persisted down the rabbithole to see what else he would find. Some of it he liked, some of it he didn't, but it was all very interesting to say the least.

The third, that downloading gigabytes upon gigabytes of gay porn from dubious websites (which many were, since he couldn't exactly prove he was over 18) would _utterly fuck up_ your computer.

And that was how it came to be that, at six in the morning, Kazuya sat on his bed, head hung in absolute shame and humiliation as Naoya sat at his computer, completely expressionless as he waded through such exciting file names as "DILFs gone wild XXX" and "Journey to the Center of the Ass" as he attempted to isolate the source of the malware. The stone cold silence was worse than any teasing he could possibly muster. A part of Kazuya's soul died that day.

Somewhere between an hour and a century later, Naoya finally stood up. "Alright, your computer needs to do one last reboot, but your system should be clear now," he said. "Let me know if you have any more trouble. ...Even I can only be so thorough."

Kazuya didn't meet his gaze. "Yeah... thanks." When Naoya was halfway to the door, he added, "Hey, Naoya?"

Naoya turned back to him. "What is it?"

Kazuya felt his cheeks grow hot. "Uh... d-don't tell mom and dad."

He looked up just in time to see Naoya flash an irritatingly attractive smirk at him. "I'm not _that_ cruel, you know."

As Naoya left the room, Kazuya buried his face in his pillow and strongly considered smothering himself.


End file.
